different topics, ideas, for different age ranges and folks.

you can make a donation to me, my paypal addy is: pasha52783@gmail.com

A little tale... (creative writing, yours truly)

My name is paul and I'm an addict.

Saturday, August 15, 2015

Mariska Hargitay , I love you.

Your biggest fan, my name is paul. Btw, I'm heterosexual so when I say love I do quite mean so!!

It's not that I don't like you, just that when not behind the screen, I'm not like you.

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Saturday, August 8, 2015

My political stance. Vote for me!

Least likely survivor.
A beacon of hope.
An epitome of gratitude
concealing his upscale
moral values and ethical standards
by means of lower scale
Living arrangements.

Bunch of drugs dropped in Ohio prison yard.

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Monday, August 3, 2015

Today on the B1 Bus, I ran across a gentleman...

Reminded me greatly of a young man I ran across in the one year I attended high school. "Lou". Then, after switching buses from B1 to the S79 going back into Staten Island, I sat in the back of the bus with an older italian guy, when a young guy got on(couldn't tell his age exactly, roughly 18ish). It was clear instantly he was autistic. Even to someone uneducated, was clear...in so many words, retarded. He exclaimed "Oh NO! People have seats." Fortunately I realised instantly by facial expression on his part that he is autistic before I could view it as comical and laugh. He put his leg up on the next seat by him which was next to the older italian gentleman. Italian rudely in an agressive voice exclaimed "Put you foot down, not paying your fair and taking 2 seats!". I was disgusted. Then, his grandmother got on. For most of the ride, the autistic guy kept his head on grandma's forehead, constantly physically attaching himself to her in one way or another, keeping right leg pressed over on her. Every so often saying something utterly silly. At one point, he said something that I could tell right away he got from some TV show because of his AMAZING ability to mimic that exact expression (I don't remember what he said just how it was said). Grandma told him to be quiet numerous times. But you could tell how much harder he made her life and how much she loved him, to put up with that kind of need on his part, seemingly regularly. Towards the end of the ride, I couldn't help but say outloud "They could pass for lovers.". heh

When they got off the bus, he walked behind her, hands on her shoulders in an odd nearly massage-like way. Further agreeing with my comment. Poor poor grandma... and even more so because she was oriental and was far from wealthy. :(

Study of effects on solitary confinement in prisons.

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Brother first job he's comfortable with. Tells me it's alot of dealin with addicts.

Brother will live jobcariously through my youthmage. Mother won't lose the house. Pops his secretive manipulation is way past defining character. Thus, My central air lets out some dense almost toxic smell. Can't put a name on it though.

I will elaborate on what drugs can do to a human being...a little further.

A energy deprived burnt out crispy brain somewhere in that head. Used to be one, anyhow.

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

The day I and millioms of other juvemile diabetics in USA have been waiting for, HAS COME.

Right here.

Now all they have left to do is figure out how to prevent the immune system from attacking these new cells and we're home. It doesn't have to come in time for my life being decent/well, but I'd be overjoyed for all the Juvenile diabetics in America. I know from experience what a struggle life is comparatively with this health problem. Although my... "late onset"... 22, that's late onset ..? type 1? Alright I'm not going to turn this into an insane suspense thriller. Just glad these med-researchers have come so close.

For a century now, we have been singing war songs about addicts. It occurred to me as I wiped his brow, we should have been singing love songs to them all along.

NA member right there, quote from the article.  I suppose NY times uses the washed up once in a blue moon with a vivid touch on addiction. Against free will, truth, troubles. What it is?

Also I left inpatient psych on july 21st. Spent 2 weeks in hopes of magic coming around changin my attitude.

Oh well, I'll die living my own lies. I got zero fuel , it's over. I can only pray ffor a quick/painless death.

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Ted Levine turned junkie. 13 seconds of pleasure afforded to you by me.


NYC ghettos for the white man detailed in a few facial motions, 13 seconds flat. Its the truth.

Monday, July 6, 2015

Last year, while my mother was upstate in Church. (Sexual-assault, fight, nmore)

When she went away to go to church upstate...Coincedentally, a guy I know convinced me he has nowhere to sleep etc and to let him stay over. My father seemed oddly comfortable with the fact he was here. few days later, I was passed out in the morning, guy came by (drunk as I was told) and him and my father got into it. My father ended up in the hospital with some sort of leg injury. Documented as such. The fact that it got to that point where it became physical means there was some personal involvement on my fathers part. ILL TELL YOU HERE WHERE HIS INVOLVEMENT WAS:

When I was 15, I was assaulted and stripped close-to-naked and this was videotaped. To find out later, it was an investment made by a wealthy jewish man who had an agreement with my father. Both of them homosexually-inclined.

Then, just as the first described incident I spoke of, MY MOTHER WASNT HOME. MY FATHER AND BROTHER FIND ME UNRESPONSIVE COMATOSE IN MY ROOM. They could not figure out the cause, there was no primary diagnosis. According to my mother they tossed it on "xanax withdrawal".

^ this was done to me. By my father. I almost ended up a vegetable.


Chances are I was sexually used in one way or another the night I let that guy I know sleep here, him and my father being a team.

And a guy in the hospital called me his "EXIT PARTNER". The kinds of people involved here....oh boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PARTY IS ABOUT TO GET STARTED HUH

My beloved Hable Con Ella princess interviewing a little girl.