different topics, ideas, for different age ranges and folks.

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh since there's less cleaning up to do afterwards. -K. Vonnegut
Consequences of the "inability to feel shame." ]

how I almost died! (click to view)

Sunday, September 14, 2014

H... Was right.

сам в себя влублен.

The other day, guy pulls up to me on midland, getting out of his car in a hurry. I figured, cops. Put my hands up when he says, "Other day, by the train station you opened my wife's car door and said give me a ride to midland and nugent." Which was true except I didn't open her door. AND offered her $5. But he was upset so I said, I won't lie, it happened, I apologise. Then the tough guy talk gets started... if my daughter wasn't in the car I'd hit you, etc etc. One thing is if his wife really claimed I opened her door BUT If he added that to the story. Well, then, I'm sure your daughter won't be in the car next time.

JOKES ASIDE, AS FAR AS ME BEING A JUNKIE. i'M GETTING OFF METHADONE AGAIN AND SWITCHING TO SUBOXONE(PRESCRIBED). I'll go NA, I guess. I'm not getting any younger, juvenile diabetes at 31 can EASILY equate to 45-50 of a healthy person. It's now or never because, just as I'll take blunt truth over sympathy ANY day, I also won't live full-fucked crippled with something like dialysis. I'll take death over that, ANY DAY. and I do mean....Any day. TOUGH GUY! Just kidding.

Расписался как умею,
Написал: "Рецидивист
По фамилии Сергеев"!!!!

Vysotsky's song repeat offender. For you sir, translation:

Signed the way I knew how
Wrote "Repeat offender
with the last name Sergeev"


Thursday, September 11, 2014

Vladimir Vysotsky - Repeat Offender

This song is for YOU, Judge myers. Click-> And such...

That's a link. But yestrday I was picked up by cops to find out today that's it's for "incoherently causing traffic."

Enough said, given the past.

On a more serious note, if this is to state THAT If I do not marry an "impagliazzo", I will continuosly be picked up for warrants of "Causing traffic, walking." which never occured, well then, I suppose minimal disability pay isn't much for a cigarette habit on rykers... :*(


Tuesday, September 9, 2014

I'm bitter...

And the only thing sweet about it is my blood sugar. Must be "The revenge of karma".

I know what will happen IF I LIVE ALONE, IT WILL NOT TAKE LONG. THEY'LL FIND ME DEAD. I'm not afraid of it, same time though...I'm not ready.

Да что говорить - я духи ей купил!-
Французские, братцы,
За тридцать четыре семнадцать.

Those lyrics will make me smile EVERY TIME!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Reason why?

As to why I got off methadone yet again. There's this one nurse there who's pretty fucking attractive for her age. I can't look her in the face anymore drinkin that garbage. Forget eyes, not even the face. Feels like yestrday I was 20, Now I'm 31 finding a lady older than me attractive. Damn, life flies by.

History of today.

So I'm sitting in the park feeling pretty shitty since I walked off 30mg methadone 4 days ago. When a young white girl, roughly 25, comes up to an older black man. He said "She needs to get on She program." I understood what that meant, methadone. It was obvious what she did to maintain a habit. After finding out on top of that, both of her parents are dead. The image as a whole made me nauseas. When I first got into heroin, an older Georgian man said "My man, ONE Iv is for the rest of your life." He was right. I found out years later about a man who attended NA in staten island and after 20 years clean...died from a heroin overdose. The reason I mention 20 years is because a doctor I met young, fit and full of myself(Pre-diabetes) recently told me "You're aging faster than me." He's about 55. And he's right. I don't got 20 years to play faggot games in NA. I'll enjoy what I have now HOW I HAVE IT.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Last decade of my life in one sentence.

It's not that I'm some crazy loon, but better off with the the devil(drugs/booze) than all alone in my room.

I can't even take out a decent life insurance policy with my health/history. Say good night to the low-life.


today's feellin...

У неё 
всё своё — и бельё, и жильё, 
Ну а я
ангажирую угол у тёти.
Для неё —
всё свободное время моё,
На неё
я гляжу из окна, что напротив.

У неё
каждый вечер не гаснет окно,
И вчера
мне лифтёр рассказал за полбанки:
У неё
два знакомых артиста кино
И один
популярный артист из "Таганки".

И пока
у меня в ихнем ЖЭКе рука,
Про неё
я узнал очень много нюансов:
У неё
старший брат — футболист "Спартака",
А отец —
референт в Министерстве финансов.

Я скажу,
что всегда на футболы хожу,
На "Спартак", —
и слова восхищенья о брате.
Я скажу,
что с министром финансов дружу
И что сам
как любитель играю во МХАТе.

У неё,
у неё на окошке — герань,
У неё,
у неё — занавески в разводах, 
У меня,
у меня на окне — ни хера,
Только пыль,
только толстая пыль на комодах... 

я куплю лотерейный билет,
И тогда
мне останется ждать так недолго.
И хотя 
справедливости в мире как нет —
По нему
обязательно выиграю "Волгу".

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

I am...despondent.

My mother is renting her basement, the lady is quiet/respectful. I liked the guy. Now he's accusing me of prank calling ANONYMOUSLY the ladys phone all night. As well as cutting security camera wires. Being that he AND she is 95% sure neither is true in being ME that's done it, he must not like me. Understandable respectful or not, IAM A JUNKIE. She has a kid daughter. So I'll be quiet and accept his statements, words stay words...for now. if I'm accused again by physical means, I weigh 130 lbs, aint no tuff guy here, but if happens...we'll see.

As far as me being a junkie, according to Mr. vonnegut. We all are.

"We're all addicts of fossil fuels about to face cold turkey" -Kurt Vonnegut(r.i.p November 11, 1922 – April 11, 2007)

The MAIN Beatnik's quotes. One from each.
In deep sadness there is no place for sentimentality.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/w/william_s_burroughs.html#eD7ZaqKSlIHWFJph.99

"In deep sadness, there's no place for sentimentality" - William Burroughs

"You can't teach the old maestro a new tune." - Jack Kerouac

"Poetry is the one place where people can speak their original human mind. It is the outlet for people to say in public what is known in private." - Allen Ginsberg
"I alone, as the sharer of their way of life, presented a replica of childhood" - Neal Cassady

And one away from Beatnik's... "The true man wants two things, danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, the most dangerous plaything"


Sunday, August 17, 2014