different topics, ideas, for different age ranges and folks.

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh since there's less cleaning up to do afterwards. -K. Vonnegut
Consequences of the "inability to feel shame." ]

how I almost died! (click to view)

"Genius is an african who dreams up snow." - Vladimir Nabokov, Author of "Lolita".

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

где мои 17 лет... :(

I live with the music. Fact of the matter is, I'm going to die relatively young.

Ah well.

Monday, September 22, 2014

In somewhat regards to previous post...

In the end of Vladimir Vysotsky's song, " Scapegoat ".
He said:

"And with wolves he lived
  like a wolf he howled
  And he roars like a bear now"

Heh. Almost describes how my character/personality developed along with addiction. :/

Мyрат Тхагалегов - Украдет и позовет

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Likely selfish.

The woman my mother is renting to. She has a daughter. She's 14. I am 99%, she sees me as scum.
How that affects me ; I rather have her remember me as scum...than just be a non-entity(non-entity is a uncle jun-sopranos reference). Atleast that's partial. Beats nothin'. As far as...her
;  I can't take away from her(I can't take that away from her is a reference to a part in Dostoevsky's "The Idiot"  book The exact line is and he couldn't take that away from them) Even if it somehow benefits me.

If like, in my favorite movie, Hable con Ella. If one day, I realise that I'm a homo. This is the man I would love: Click.

Even though he's sellin crack and got his hoes in the back which incites he's heterosexual. I'd even take platonic.

Saturday, September 20, 2014

This is CLASSIC!!!!!!!!!!!!

My girlfriend has lost "that loving feeling".

Seldom do I make insulting remarks or anything along the lines of.

BUT SIR, If your girlfriend has lost "that loving feeling" then..WHY doesnt she leave you and try some heroin. If in nyc, I can buy PLUS pay her on top for a blowjob covering the costs of the drug!! Sir, my healthy advice has been free. You're welcome.

Everyone should differentiate dark humor from being foul.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Amazing. We never even spoke...

Now out of the blue, I remember her last name.which I never knew. Full name, at that. Without a doubt, I never knew her last name. Strange. Hope this "character" is alright.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

H... Was right.

сам в себя влублен.

The other day, guy pulls up to me on midland, getting out of his car in a hurry. I figured, cops. Put my hands up when he says, "Other day, by the train station you opened my wife's car door and said give me a ride to midland and nugent." Which was true except I didn't open her door. AND offered her $5. But he was upset so I said, I won't lie, it happened, I apologise. Then the tough guy talk gets started... if my daughter wasn't in the car I'd hit you, etc etc. One thing is if his wife really claimed I opened her door BUT If he added that to the story. Well, then, I'm sure your daughter won't be in the car next time.

JOKES ASIDE, AS FAR AS ME BEING A JUNKIE. i'M GETTING OFF METHADONE AGAIN AND SWITCHING TO SUBOXONE(PRESCRIBED). I'll go NA, I guess. I'm not getting any younger, juvenile diabetes at 31 can EASILY equate to 45-50 of a healthy person. It's now or never because, just as I'll take blunt truth over sympathy ANY day, I also won't live full-fucked crippled with something like dialysis. I'll take death over that, ANY DAY. and I do mean....Any day. TOUGH GUY! Just kidding.

Расписался как умею,
Написал: "Рецидивист
По фамилии Сергеев"!!!!

Vysotsky's song repeat offender. For you sir, translation:

Signed the way I knew how
Wrote "Repeat offender
with the last name Sergeev"


Thursday, September 11, 2014

Vladimir Vysotsky - Repeat Offender

This song is for YOU, Judge myers. Click-> And such...

That's a link. But yestrday I was picked up by cops to find out today that's it's for "incoherently causing traffic."

Enough said, given the past.

On a more serious note, if this is to state THAT If I do not marry an "impagliazzo", I will continuosly be picked up for warrants of "Causing traffic, walking." which never occured, well then, I suppose minimal disability pay isn't much for a cigarette habit on rykers... :*(


Tuesday, September 9, 2014

I'm bitter...

And the only thing sweet about it is my blood sugar. Must be "The revenge of karma".

I know what will happen IF I LIVE ALONE, IT WILL NOT TAKE LONG. THEY'LL FIND ME DEAD. I'm not afraid of it, same time though...I'm not ready.

Да что говорить - я духи ей купил!-
Французские, братцы,
За тридцать четыре семнадцать.

Those lyrics will make me smile EVERY TIME!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Reason why?

As to why I got off methadone yet again. There's this one nurse there who's pretty fucking attractive for her age. I can't look her in the face anymore drinkin that garbage. Forget eyes, not even the face. Feels like yestrday I was 20, Now I'm 31 finding a lady older than me attractive. Damn, life flies by.

History of today.

So I'm sitting in the park feeling pretty shitty since I walked off 30mg methadone 4 days ago. When a young white girl, roughly 25, comes up to an older black man. He said "She needs to get on She program." I understood what that meant, methadone. It was obvious what she did to maintain a habit. After finding out on top of that, both of her parents are dead. The image as a whole made me nauseas. When I first got into heroin, an older Georgian man said "My man, ONE Iv is for the rest of your life." He was right. I found out years later about a man who attended NA in staten island and after 20 years clean...died from a heroin overdose. The reason I mention 20 years is because a doctor I met young, fit and full of myself(Pre-diabetes) recently told me "You're aging faster than me." He's about 55. And he's right. I don't got 20 years to play faggot games in NA. I'll enjoy what I have now HOW I HAVE IT.